Having a baby isn't easy and doesn't come with a rule book.
we all think its going to go plain sailing and perfect,but sometimes in life
it takes a different turn , my postpartum psychosis took over and began to rule my life , something wasn't right when i was coming to the end of my pregnancy , it started to escalate rapidly when my son was born , thanks to a midwife , health visitor and a fantastic perinatal team. i was monitored closely , my poor partner didn't know what hit him , I didn't sleep he didn't sleep with the fear of me harming his child accidentally, he was terrified to leave my side things got worse and worse and i became a danger to baby Aston. I was hallucinating,
paranoid and erratic, but kept breasting feeding trying to work through this traumatic time, I went to asda and spent hundreds on photos of my for children trying to remember the good i stuck them up all over my living room wall there were hundreds. my partner began to worried for my life and his baby.I wasn't in my right mind , i took myself and my son to the viaduct . i couldn't cope with the pain any more and wanted to find peace , it was either me or the baby and i chose that i should leave this world it all made sense to me, there were bars on the viaduct and i didn't want to leave baby Aston in the car so i drove away to get my phone from the house with the intent of leaving him there, my was so confused most of everything is hazey and find it hard to remember , my partner suffered greatly and was relived when a was admitted to an acute ward in Ystrad Mynach before being transferred to an MBU mother and baby unit in Exexter. He had to choose to loose the first couple of months of his babies life and that was such a selfless act but had a huge impact on him well being and emotionally and was difficult because I was so far away.
SO PLEASE REMEMBER DADS SUFFER TOO