Search
  • Leaza jayne lloyd

Can you grieve for a termination (this could be triggering)

Updated: Dec 29, 2020

Back in 2016 I had no home I was living back with my parents and three children and One day I felt terribly sick. I knew what i had to do so i took a pregnancy test and there before my eyes two lines popped up, I was pregnant again . I decided not to ho through with the pregnancy . This decision haunts me to this day depriving a baby of life. Its such a tragic selfish act to commit but it had to be done. The first pill tore my heart and mind into pieces the realization of what I had done hit me like a tonne of bricks.

Do people grieve for a terminated baby even if by choice i believe they can.

All i remember was curling up into a tiny ball while i lost the pregnancy sobbing and shivering . It was one of the worst moments of my life knowing i had ended a babies life. That is a hard thing to acccept and forgive yourself. I believe i suffered postnatal depression after this termination. Which escalated on the next two children. I am truly sorry for that baby I took away. I had overwhelming emotions over this termination, something I find it very difficult to say as I am full of shame and guilt mixed with emptiness and self loathing but after being made homeless after the court case And having to move . It would of been irresponsible to have another child at that time. I am sorry for that child I never had , that never existed through my selfishness . One can be consumed with self hate and I believe this lead my into depression with next pregnancy’s


37 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Playing with Poetry

My body screamed as if a hot iron rod, had been placed on my bare flesh. My heart was screaming murder How could my emotions be betrayed in such a way That tore my heart into pieces .

A little bit of love for new year ❤️

Don’t let negativity ruin your inner peace. Life isn’t easy it’s actually quite hard. It doesn’t come with a rule book Break the rules , tell someone you love them . Give your love ones a kiss and a l

Happy new year

Do you know what IAM going to make New Years resolutions and I am going to smash them •I am going publish my book •I am going to be Mother to my children again •I am going to help with my blog #bipola