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The sexual assault the day cps let me down .

Updated: Jan 5


THE R – word


THE END THAT NEVER CAME

It took me almost a year to sign the statements that I had made to the police after he had smashed my home to pieces when the shotgun was found , csi took photos of the injuries I received from the rape and assaults I was then taken away to place of safety by women’s aid .

I am struggling to get back to pacific dates and years to write my or our story this happens a lot,

Almost like my brain tends to shut down and remembers nothing.

Today I am going to copy a letter I send to cps crown prosecution service after they originally declined my case that almost lead me to commit suicide

They broke my heart by rejecting the rape case I was involved in. it’s such an ugly word and world, where I never THOUGHT OR noticed how BAD PEOPLE can BE, pure ignorance which ended me being in a complete pickle of life.

Realizing this broke my heart into a million pieces

When they came back with decision, I sat in my car like nothing would ever get better losing all hope and will feeling that I was bad through the core.

I held the blue rope around in my hands with the thought of tying it around my neck like I could take no more. I wanted to rip the life out of me. I stared at the rope what I thought was for hours and hours questioning if my life was livable and I was losing my sparkle.

I knew at that point it was choice of life and death and I chose life. I could not let this rapist think he could ever harm me a



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