• Leaza jayne lloyd

The secret battle with food .

Updated: Aug 11, 2020


I shut my eyes and lay in bed 

Today the monster is inside my head 

She won’t let me, as I look at the ticking clock

She is waiting, unseen, unheard 

I truly wish, I was free as a bird 

But not today or tomorrow, she won't let me go 

She whispers to me you reap what you sow 

Day or night it’s a battle I can't win

As the monster in my head thinks food is a sin

Only very few see the silent battle that I fight

Especially as there is no end insight

Do that, do this lots of people say

But they don’t understand, she won’t go away

I am healthy she says as I go through the days

But I know the monster in my inside my head that controls what is said 

No one sees the suffocation as my body hides the desperation

I sit here with silent tears and words unspoken

I am just so tired my spirit is broken

Its my mind the monster that I call she restrains 

It honestly hurts so much. so much that no one sees my pain 

Or the reality of my flawed brain

The secret she makes me keep

Makes me feel ashamed and weak

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